How to talk nicely

Some of us aren't trained to speak kindly. In the army, we learn to be blunt: "Don't be stupid!" or "Don't be an idiot!" At home, we might hear, "Why are you like that?" We're told to "take it like a man" and "don't be soft like a strawberry."

But words can deeply wound emotions, and the scars can linger for a lifetime. Just because others treated us thi…